04.10.11 Pizza Tuesdays

Kooky Pics #466 When the sun sets

Kooky Pics #465 A stroll in the park

Silly us...


Our pre-wed shoot...

KIDDING!!

Just us, fooling around, being silly.

Kooky Pics #464 Blessed I am

Kooky Pics #463 When two worlds collide

Kooky Pics #462 Words do hurt

Kooky Pics #461 Addictions

The rules of love

Once upon a time,
You were my everything.
Things change, 
people change.


When you were my everything,
did you treasure it?
did you crow?
did you sing it at the rooftops?


When you felt like
you were fighting a losing battle,
did you gave it your all,
or were calls really just enough?


When I tumbled into the rabbit hole,
and was lost and confused,
did you remind me 
what we once had and possibly still have?


Why don't you just
tell me how you really feel?
Who are you to decide,
If he is the better man?


Who were you,
to jerk at my heartstrings?
I, the puppet,
and you, the puppeteer.


Up to date, 
I never got my answers.
Or perhaps,
answers were given but not accepted.


If only you chose me,
and I was more bold.
If only you said 'no',
and let me go.

But in all the aftermath,

all is said to be forgiven.

Forgiven but not forgotten,

and it seeps into everything else.

Like vines,

it twirls and swirls.

Like talons,

it sinks right in.

No one understands me,

no one really cares.

'Cos if you were my friend,

you'd know what this is about.

I cry by myself

at times,

hoping and wishing

for a revelation. 

A revelation to end it all.

An answer why it had to happened.

A purpose in life,

A reason to live.

Kooky Pics #460 Second chance

Kooky Pics #459 It is never enough

Today I don't feel like doing anything

"Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just want to lay in my bed..."

Woke up at one. Half the day gone. Laptop on my tummy. Surfing my time away.

Dragged myself for a shower. Had two pieces of toast. With a cup of tea. More calories stored.

Hacking. Coughing. Sniffling. Choking.

Aches and sores. Heartaches and headaches. Confusion and clarity. Denial and oblivion.

Tremors. Flashes of lightning. Grey skies. Doom and gloom.

Feeling forlorn. Feeling alone. Feeling anti-social. Feeling crappy.

Two more Dream High. New beginnings of White Collar. Old walk down Greys Anatomy. And now, it's back to Castle.

Kooky Pics #458 An apple a day

Call me Doofus

Today, I am reminded again how idiotic and dumb I can be. Sure, sure. It's a common oversight according to Mr. Landlord. Then again, on hindsight, something did prompt me to look at the oven before I went out to talk to the mechanic but I figured that it'll be alright, that I wouldn't be gone long.

It's once again about me shutting off the 'voice' in myself. You'd think I would learn from my past, my mistakes, my 'nah it's alright' complacent attitude. But nope. Apparently, today, I didn't.

You see, I left two wholemeal bread in the oven to 'toast' as I went about tidying the house. Then, the mechanic beckoned me out for a chat. On my way towards the door, just like the time my bag was snatched in early 2009, something - some call it instinct, some hails it as a woman's intuition, some go far as to say it's God's prompting - prompted me to look towards the oven and I was reminded of my toasts but I thought all will be fine.

So, whilst chatting outside, loud beeping sounds wailed through out the house. I ran in to see heaps of smoke billowing from the oven towards the ceiling where the smoke detectors sit and mock me.

And the smoke detectors just kept ringing and wailing assaulting my senses and rendering me partially deaf. When you're in this kind of situation, you either take charge or panic. Seeing how I was by myself, I had to collect my wits and think fast. 

Before I could do anything, the phone rang and I hurriedly answered it. It was the security company asking me the situation in the house. I told them amidst embarrassment that it was just toast left in the oven till it burnt black and crisp. 

They asked for the security code - which I had to call and ask my landlord for - as a measurement of precaution that it wasn't a break in related incident or what not in order to authorise them to shut off the annoyingly deafening alarm.

Once the password was conveyed, whilst clarifying that they'll shut off the alarm asap, we were disconnected. I thought, alright, the stupid sounds will shut off in a bit, no worries. But after a few minutes, the stupid sirens were still driving me nuts and causing further damage to my partial hearing impairment. 

Had to trouble Mr. Landlord with a call again to get the security people to off the alarm. He gave the necessary directions on what to do next. I felt awfully paiseh for disturbing him during working hours for such a trivial matter.

I think he sensed it because he said firmly through the phone, 'Esther, if there is ever any trouble, just give a ring and it's alright. No worries about it. Things like that happen all the time to us. So don't fret about it.' Have I ever mentioned how awesome Mr. Landlord is? He is a real sweetie!

Anyways, that was the end of the whole debacle but the self deprecation doesn't end there. I still felt like a real doofus for leaving the toast in the oven and for ignoring my own gut! So, perhaps what people say about woman's intuition is true! If only, I'd pay heed to mine!

Lesson for the day : 

#1 Am blessed with an awesome landlord! 

Remember to make awesome fruit juice for him later.

#2 Don't be a doofus and listen to my instincts.

To remember this for the next time I get a prompting!

#3 God is always watching over me and out for me! 

Remember, be thankful and not take God forgranted!! Thank you! *beams* 

Kooky Pics #457 Evergreen roses

Sticks and stones

It is said that sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt. 

Whoever who said that was obviously in denial. Words are more lethal and once uttered, can never be taken back. And people so often say hurtful words when they are hurt or angry. Even if their hurt and anger is justified, does that give them the right to hurt others with their words? By spouting those words in the heat of passion, whatever passion it may be, it is forever remembered, forever floating about one's mind.

And with that, one thought naturally leads to another. Healthy thoughts. Unhealthy pondering.

What you've said today, you can't ever take them back. If I were selfish like you, I could've spewed a whole lot more 'truth' and get it off my chest but I am not like you. If you don't open your eyes before it's too late, you'll let this poison ruin what's left of whatever that is left which right now, I don't have a clue.

Knowing you, you'll act as if all is right with the world after having one of your 'talks', after you have calmed down. But the matters at hand won't disappear till you work it out. 

At least, it's good to finally know what you really think of me.

Then again, it's a bit late for regrets, isn't it?