I know it's only the first month of the new year but i can't help the apprehensiveness from seeping in. i m sure lots of people have lots of positive and happy things to be grateful and thankful for and i m sure i have them too. so, why is it eluding me?
on being a snatch thief victim I can't help feeling miffed about the snatch thief incident. i think it's not fair whereby one was a victim but still needs to pay for charges ie. re-doing driving license, ATM replacement card and even Genting card! the "smart" guy at Genting who serviced me said that lost and stolen is the same. How is that so??!!! If i had lost my handbag and everything in it, it's due to my own negligence, hence, my fault. However, i was robbed!! how can that be my fault?? i mean, it's bad enough being a victim, whatmore, one has to go through lots of hassle of cancelling cards and then reapplying for them not even mentioning the trauma or the loss of the material possessions and if that's not bad enough, one has to pay charges for the replacement of cards??!! as if i asked to be robbed!!! absurdity of it all!
on life well, unfortunately, nothing has changed except the fact of promotion and increment. of course, finally, one thing to be thankful for. the $$$! it's not what i had expected but then again, what was there to expect? i m more demotivated than ever. Not that you can really tell that to your boss, right? they'll be more than happy to say adieu! i ve been here for 3 years and what do i have to account for? i see colleagues who deserve what they're due and i have no complains about that. i wish i am just as capable. unfortunately, this goldfish memory of mine is rather selective and has decided to forget ALL knowledge that i ve learnt in uni and training. how sad is that? i want to improve but am kinda at a lost. i m even trying to figure out how can i feel as if i know nothing of consequence?
one more thing to be thankful for was that despite the peak, managed to spend time with the bf. our relationship has had it's share of ups and downs and even after weathering 2 years of LDR (which was and still isn't easy) the bf is more loving and caring than ever. he even wakes up most mornings to fetch me to client's place and also most evenings back! however, the bf will be leaving in less than a month and our future itself is filled with uncertainties and what the next step should be. i don't even know if i'll be able to make it for a visit this year. hence, can't help the heavy heart feeling of when will we meet again.
i don't feel satisfied where i m rite at this point in my life but i don't want to sit idle and let time just pass by without me doing something about it. some ppl say that if you were born in the year of the rat and if that year was the rat year, then it won't be a good year for the rat! so, if that's anything to go by, since it's the ox year now, it should be my year. ok. don't really believe this superstition. however, i really want this year to be my year! and besides, i m not getting any younger.
i want to change so many things but dare not make resolutions for fear that it'll be just that once again. however, perhaps, when i do accomplish something or have changeg any aspects of my life may it be physical or mentally, i'll mention it. there's so much to do but i guess nothing in life comes easy. well, for most of us that is.
things to look forward to
1) bkk trip mid year. hope i have a blast!
2) hopefully an OZ trip
3) new horizons??? hehe.. pray hard for me!!! wishing hard!!