Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A true friend

It's not easy being a true friend and what more to say one that is sincere in any and every way.

Ever since being back for close to six weeks, I've been trying to catch up with as many friends as possible. The thing with me is that I don't have a particular group of friends that I hang out with only.

I seem to have one or two friends from here and there, some high schools friends from different 'gangs' not as in gangster gangs (and to think Mr. C once thought that I was a gangster's girlfriend in Form 4 *faint*) but rather hang out groups, one or two from SAM and then college and then ex- colleagues and so on.

Then this past one to two years, I've gotten close to some plurkers and friend's friend and even friends from primary school years that I wasn't even really close then! Let me tell you this, it's really hard to meet everyone all at one go and I end up going out night after night with different groups of people. I tried a meet-everyone-party last year but too diverse a group to catch up with everyone individually in a group, if you get what I mean.

And there has been lots of nice catch up sessions, heartfelt conversations about one's life. Updates on one's new job or perhaps, same job and mutual acquaintances, on relationships as in how so and so is doing with their respective partners or potential partners or lack of and moving on to family drama such as menopausal mothers and funny parents facing empty nest syndrome.

I feel super encouraged and touched that most of my friends that I met up have treated my meals and yam cha sessions. They cite it as their treat plus I am unemployed. The fact is, none of them had to pay for me but they did and insistently pushed my money back to me and for that, I am humbled. Humbled by the friends that I have and the generosity shown.

I do enjoy meeting up and catching up on the past, the present and about the future events to take place. However, I really don't appreciate people 'pressuring' me or 'blaming' me for not meeting up with them. Firstly, every trip back home, family is my priority. Not to say that friends don't matter but rather family comes first.

And secondly, if you don't contact me or try to set a date to meet up, don't blame me for not making the effort 'cos it's not that I don't want to meet you, I just can't meet everyone and with such limited time.

So, I make effort to meet whoever who makes the effort to try and meet me. The rest, either I don't mean much to you - which is seriously fine with me - or you're busy and it's cool. Seriously.

I only have limited time to meet a certain amount of people. And my second priority would be those who are lacking in good friends or those that just need a friend. You need a friend, I try to be there. If you already have your own gang of friends, good for you and there isn't such a greater need to meet me which is a good thing really. =)

And it's not easy being a true friend.

I feel I have better quality friendships, one-on-one time with just one person than in a whole group. Besides that, this trip back, I've had several unpleasant experience with some friends who blab stuff in a group that I tell them in confidence during our one-on-one time. Further to that, there was a yam cha session that I kept getting 'shot at' without a break which really took a toll on my nerves.

It's really sad that you tell people things in confidence and sometimes -to make themselves feel good- they publicise it and put you down in the process. It's demeaning, despicable and downright sad.

But being a true friend calls for one to put one's own feelings aside for that friend and being there no matter what. To be the bigger person. Of course, there is always a limit to everything and being a true friend sometimes means telling off that particular friend who steps out of line.

It's tough being a friend, and even more so a true friend but I do try to be the best that I can be. And I really hope that my friends realise it, too.

Two years back, I would lament about the lack of friends but now, I just want to say that I am truly blessed to have all sorts of friends.

Thank you for being my friend and may I be a true friend to you especially in your time of need.

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