Tuesday, January 5, 2010

First Day

Today marks my first day in my second job. From an auditor with 3 close to 4 years experience to Corporate Finance (CF) in an investment bank with zilch CF experience.

I was a nervous wreck since Saturday night when someone casually commented that I would be starting work on Monday, reminding me of my impending doom. Despite knowing that it’ll just be induction for 3 days instead of reporting to my department straight, I was having panic and chronic anxiety attack. Apparently it didn’t show on my calm and cool outward manner according to someone.

Worst part was that I couldn’t even enjoy my last non- working Sunday due to my jitteriness and no one was home at all to relieve me from my self-inflicted depression.

Sounds silly right? This isn’t my first job so why am I being a ninny, panicking and stressing out over nothing??!! More like over something that has yet to happen.

It was an okay first day. That was til the end where 2 others and I were called to our department to be told that we are required to go for the Company’s team building this weekend. =( First weekend and I already have to sacrifice my time!! Doesn’t look too good.

And I just remembered it’s my cousin’s wedding this Saturday. Darn it! Guess I better skip on the wedding to get to know office people but I am never good at this kind of social event. Somehow reserved and more to timid with people I just meet. Always wondered why I never rebelled all those years by going out whenever and wherever.

I have a uneasy feeling about this job that it'll be a repeat of what I went through in audit. Yeah, I know. Silly. Seeing that I just started work what with today being my very first day. But maybe this is what I am supposed to do this 2010. Push myself to be more than what I am. To work on my shortcomings.

But at the same time, I just started embarking on a new shortcoming. Smart of me isn’t it.


zewt said...

let me guess... CIMB?

goingkookies said...

haha.. NOPE!

let's just say there's a possibility of my company being bought over by another.

that should be sufficient hint.

zewt said...

hahahahahaha... hottest news in the market at the moment...

goingkookies said...

yup yup... i wonder what's the final outcome but it seems my dept won't be badly hit if d deal goes thru...