If I could be...

#1 A WRITER and pen my first novel... of course, a best seller that would open oh-so-many doors and lead to many more with raving reviews. I am alright if people don't recognised me off the streets but when they here my pen name, they'll know who I am. Now, how awesome that would be.

#2 A PHOTOGRAPHER and make a living out of capturing each and everyone's special occasion and moments may it be a wedding, a pregnancy, the birth of a firstborn, a family or just some random stranger of the street. Getting paid to capturing emotions and happy times whilst receiving praises for a job well done, now, how awesome that would be.

#3 A COOK/BAKER and make hoards and hoards of scrumptious and delectable dishes and desserts from the comforts of my own kitchen and who knows? Open my own shop. Now, how awesome that would be.

#4 A BLOGGER by profession and I get to stay home, go to events, get freebies to keep and/to  review, and all at my time and leisure. Now, how awesome that would be.

It is said that "A pessimist will see the difficulty in every opportunity and an Optimist will see an opportunity in every difficulty" and I find it true. Oh so very true. I may have come a long way from the super Eeyore me of two years ago but the fact that I seem to always think of the cons more than the pros, deluding myself that I am being pragmatic says a fair bit of my optimism, or lack of.

In actual fact, I can do any of the above if I put myself to it. All of us can but we tend to let the world's pressure cave us into decisions we feel we have to take 'cos we're 'responsible adults'. LOL. And if it is not the world, then it is family or friends with their strong and fixed opinions and comments on what one should do rather than what one could do.

So, the question that begs to be answered, as usual, is.. do I conform to what society and certain people think I should do or do I rebel and pursue what I think I would like to do? Follow my heart.. my dream? Then again, seeing how I have more than one dream, it is hard to focus solely on one and make it happen when I am thinking about the other dreams.

And up to this point of time, I still have yet to figure out what I am good at, really good at and what areas to pursue. Like I said, it appears that I am a Jack of all trades and master of none. If I knew what I would love to do, it'll make life decisions so much more easier.

In the later part of 2009, when I left my Audit job without another company's job offer, many said I was being impractical and irresponsible and yada yada yada. If you were not in my shoes, who were you then to judge or give your two cents worth? I knew that I was at a really unhealthy point in my life dwelling on really unhealthy thoughts and to save myself, I just had to get out, no matter the cost and consequences. Even then, I didn't just up and left.

I left my job AFTER my attempt to switch departments didn't materialised. If I couldn't do something other than audit in the same company, then, I had no choice but to leave. And in my heart of hearts, I trusted that God would give me a job; but whether I would like that job was a different question. 

True enough, in less than a month of unemployment, I was called in for an interview, given a job that was willing to let me start three months later in the new year and agreed to further increase my pay upon passing both required tests for the relevant role.

Then, I didn't trust God enough to give me a job that paid and that I'd love. Oh, I was of little faith. But now, I don't think it is too much to trust that God will give me a job that I would like, perhaps if asking to love my job is a little too much, and that the job will pay well. Needless to say, I am not expecting a CEO or MD position or the extremely ka-ching pay that comes with it. 

After all, God knows me best; He knows my innermost thoughts that perhaps, not even Mr. C knows. How can he when sometimes, I don't even know myself? And if God knows me well, then, he'd know what job will suit me the most and where I will thrive.

And that is what I prayed again last night. For Him to provide that job and preferably that I'd KNOW when the job opportunity does come. I am, of course, not expecting the job to just fall in my lap without lifting a single finger. For Him to do His part, I have to do my own too. Research, research, research and apply, apply and apply! 

So, to all other job hunters out there, all the best to you too! ;) 

Don't forget, we can be who we want to be and where we crave to be but are we willing to bear the cost and take the necessary measures to reach that desired place? Only you will know.