Today is Palm Sunday. To those who haven't the faintest, it is the Sunday before Easter Sunday.
Let's put things in the most simplest form to understand. Good Friday is the day Christians reflect on Jesus dying on the cross for all of us where else Easter Sunday is the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ as foretold many years before it actually took place.
And no, Easter isn't about Easter eggs nor the famed Easter Bunny. In Australia, even in January, shops were selling chocolate easter eggs and bunnies!
Ok. Back to serious matter. ;p
So, what is this Palm Sunday about besides being the Sunday before Easter Sunday? It is the time where we commemorate Jesus' entry into Jerusalem.
This year, I went to Mr. C's Catholic church, St. Simon's and palms were distributed. Then again, it felt more like the Christmas sort of tree leaves than actual palms. Not to say I really know how palm looks like. ;p We were asked to go back out the entrance where Father Jim sprinkled holy water onto the congregation and then, said a prayer. Shortly after, we walked back into the pews and waved the palms.
I get the waving of palms 'cos that's what the people did in Jerusalem as they welcomed Jesus into their town. And we did just that in memory of that day many years, if not, many hundreds to thousands of years ago. What I didn't get was the sprinkling of holy water. Perhaps, holy water and all is a Catholic church's thing.
Besides, I still feel like an alien in a Catholic Church. I don't feel like I belong. Mass is very different from the type of services I am accustomed to. Here, it involves lots of standing and sitting in between and mass is for an hour where else in Protestant churches, services last for about 1 to 2 hours.
Mainly, I just feel upset when I don't get to participate in holy communion. This really disturbs me. In a Protestant church, most of them allow the congregation to partake if they believe and accept Jesus into their lives. In a Catholic church, it would seem that they are more particular, allowing one's participation only if one has been baptised as a Catholic.
It makes me feel like I am in an exclusive club. Not here to criticise or insult the church. Any church as a matter of fact. I am just here to voice my frustrations. Shouldn't it matter that as long as we believe in Jesus and God, we should be allowed to remember the body and blood he sacrificed as we take holy communion? Why must I be a Catholic only to be able to do so? Just doesn't seem right.
This week, the only highlight for me was the two songs they sang that I knew, "Above All" and "One Way". I really hope that Mr. C and I can settle down happily in a church we BOTH feel comfortable and happy in. But at this point of time, it feels like an impossible feat and a tall order to fill.
I have to remind myself... have faith that God will lead us to the right one, somehow. I am tired of feeling frustrated. Of wanting to know more of God but yet, not being faithful in my prayers and reading of His word. Of not going to church as regularly as I should. I struggle but I don't know how to get out of this pit.
Life is alright. I shouldn't complain but I know, there's got to be more than this. I have so much to give and so much to learn. I don't want to be just a Christian in name but in every sense it should represent. All's not too late, it's only April, eight more months to forge on.
We shall see when December comes and hopefully, I won't be stuck in this same spot.