I have whinged about it. Been upset about it. Screamed and raged over it. I, even cried overwhelmed by it. Who knows?? Maybe lost a friend or two over it. But it isn't a burden and it shouldn't be seen or felt as a burden. It definitely isn't something everyone has or can handle. In fact, it is not for everyone or just anyone. I think, it is a gift, a privilege and with this realisation, I am set free.
I was listening to Jay Chow songs at work and getting all emotional. Somehow, his songs have the tendency to take me down memory lane to a time in my life where someone played a rather significant role. And I find it interesting how I was at the precipice of emotional gloom and then (unrelated), with the above realisation (out of no where, really), I felt lighter, happier. That's what acceptance can do for a person.
I reckon it's got something to do with the prayer I said whilst driving to work. I asked God to take my fears, my insecurities, my negative thoughts and feelings away and fill me with His love and peace. That I may be a light for him, a blessing to anyone around me, whomever I come into contact with.
I know.. it does sound so cliche but that was what I prayed for. It was a simple prayer and yet, I felt a difference.
I felt lighter than I have for the past few weeks. Free as a bird. Lifted high as I soar above.
And all without alcohol. :) Incredible isn't it? Lol. Never did have that love hate deal with alcohol. I just have chocolate or some yum coffee drink with biscuits. Now, that's my cure and sadly, my weakness.