Friday, July 27, 2012

Love and life

Are you ready for a long, thought filling post? If you're not, then, it's best to click the little 'x' at the top right corner. If not, buckle up... I wanted to update my blog and as usual, my thoughts aren't exactly coherently organised. So, do bear with me. 

Each and everyone of us love and crave to be loved. However, due to human nature, we tend to complicate everything, even love. 

If one is in a happy and non-complicated relationship, it eventually bores them with the lack of thrills and excitement. 

On the other hand, being in a volatile relationship can be disastrous and scarring for ones mental mind eventually leading to the inevitable separation of both parties.

Some people are fortunate to meet their soul mates in their partner. Most often, we don't. I think ideally, it is great to be with a partner who understands, empathises and inspires, if not, at least, bring out the better side in you.

Mr. C and I, unfortunately, don't seem to be either of those. Despite that  coupled with our differences and incompatibilities, our relationship somehow works. And that is reality. Not Prince Charming, not Mr. Right. Those two gentlemen and happy endings that we see in Hollywood movies just aren't the realities of our world. 

BUT if you do so happen to have at least one of those three 'dreams', then good on you! Treasure what you have and don't wait to lose it to only realise the full depths of your loss.

In every boy girl relationship, even with similarities, there are bound to be differences. The magnitude of the differences and how one handles it determines the fate of the relationship. I reckon, when one is young ie teens or uni years, one may lack the maturity and life experience to handle situations well.

When we learn to accept and overcome arguments, situations and whatever obstacles life throws at us (sometimes, we are the guilty party putting ourselves in that position), it builds our character, who we are. 

If one has a pretty smooth sailing life with few worries, stress or tension, it doesn't mean that person lacks character. One just may not be as well equipped as someone who has been through it all.

These days, true and sincere love is hard to find. People are selfish and tend to think of 'me, myself and I'. It's not what I can do for others but what others can do for me. If we say we love someone, do we mean it? Or is it just said in the heat of passion? 

Age old question: can we differentiate between love and lust?

Being in Australia, I noticed that sex is talked about much and in mainstream media. In movies and series, news and documentaries, the radio, it's all about sex, sex, sex. Even if you're not interested, it's pretty much in your face. The way of dressing, how people carry themselves, it oozes with sensuality.

One night stands are a norm. Divorces and separation are probably more common than healthy marriages. In fact, don't be surprised but people no longer deem it necessary to officiate and legalise their relationship in holy matrimony. 

To them, it's just a piece of paper. 

To them, why bother marrying if it limits a person. Why bother marrying if people eventually fall out of love?

I think, God really had it right. Having premarital sex is definitely not ideally. This is just my opinion. Me, thinking out loud. You may think me old school (and perhaps I am, for thinking so) but the idea of love making is just that, to create intimacy between couples. With that intimacy, it brings couples closer. 

However, when intimacy is trust upon a couple who aren't ready, then, things tend to spiral out of control. And most cases, people have sex not because of their love for one another but just because the heat of the moment. One kiss leads to another and from first base, it's next to second.

It is not the main criteria of a successful and happy relationship, that's for sure. And that is why God meant for it to be between a husband and a wife. We live in a time where the message is to 'just do it', to go with ones feelings and to hell with the consequences.

But with every decisions, choices and path we take, we inevitably have to live the consequences. 
When we are a child, our world is less complicated. Everything is black and white. Right and wrong is as clear as day and night. However, as we grow and step into adulthood, we stepped into a world full of grey areas. We justify the wrongs we do till they are right. 

Nothing is as simple as 1, 2, 3 anymore. We no longer have to contend with eat, sleep and homework only. People fall in and out of love and change partners like changing clothes. Cheating on ones partner is hardly news. 

Just yesterday, news broke about Kirsten Steward's infidelity and Robert Pattinson moving out. Anyways, I think it's between the two of them and we do not know all the facts. Besides, to err is human.

Nevertheless, I think, it will BE news if Hollywood couples can survive their first and only healthy, happy marriage that was meant to be 'until death do us apart'.

That being said, my life view used to be black and white. Cheating is wrong, no excuses. Now, I still say that cheating is wrong but I have come to realise that it often happens for a reason, if not many. 

An unhappy and unfulfilled relationship is usually the cause. But like I've said in pasts posts, people engage in promiscuity just 'cos they can and because it gives them excitement. With modern times and the many opportunities available, instead of working things out, we take the easy way out, by cheating or breaking up.

To get good returns, we must invest. To have a good career, we must invest in good education. And just like everything else in life, to have good relationship, we need to work hard. We need to invest time, effort, understanding and lots of patience.

And it never gets easier. It's constant hard work. Anything good usually requires hard, honest work. It is true that sometimes, we do fall in love with someone who isn't necessarily right for us. And at times, we end up with someone who isn't our one true love (if you believe in all that jazz) but it doesn't mean the relationship can't work out.

It only means that both parties need to decide if the other is worth the effort. I can't say it any plainer than the next image below.


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