Eeyore me

Ok. This is going to be an emotional post. Call it PMSing. Whatever. If you're not in the mood, don't read. If you read it, don't judge.

You have been forewarned!

*********************************************************************

It's hard telling myself not to be sensitive, not to take things personally but my mind and heart refuses to cooperate. Inwardly, I hurt and I feel the sadness.

A few friends don't text first. I do. All movies and musical outings with colleagues are initiated by me. I am tired being the first person to always initiate. It would be nice if some one else organises something or invites me first every once in awhile. With another friend, it's her partner and siblings first. So, I am guessing I am the "filler" when they are busy or that's how I am made to feel.

I am not looking to be a person's only friend, only confidante. But it would be SO nice to feel like I matter, that my company is craved and not just be an "afterthought". That I am fun to be with.

Maybe this is my own thoughts and perspective of things and maybe it isn't how the situation really is. Whatever it may be, I am tired. I am weary. I am in my Eeyore phase and I have been for awhile now, if anyone cared enough to notice. I am tired of being nice, of being the bigger person.

I want to be like some people I know and not care so much, or at all. But that's just not how I am wired, unfortunately.

Sometimes I wished I wasn't me and if I wasn't me, who would I be?
Sometimes, I wonder who am I?
Sometimes, I longed to know my destiny, the reason I am here.
Sometimes, I wonder, am I expecting too much?
Sometimes, people shouldn't say, "miss you" or "you're my best friend" but their actions don't measure up.
Sometimes, I can seem cheery and bubbly but inside, I am human, just like you - I feel, I feel and I feel.

November Life Lessons

1. Not everyone aspires to be nice or likes being nice.

2. Haters will always hate, no matter what.

3. And some people can never be contented nor pleased. They will always have to find something to complain or whinge about.

4. Don't give up, don't lose hope, change takes time.

5. I can't change people, only God can.

6. Every 'not-so-nice' person has something good about them. Maybe you just have to dig deep, deep, deep down. But it's there. Somewhere.

7. Sad truth : people are more selfish and inward thinking these days.

8. Or maybe it is just the people around me. Best not to engage nor input such toxin.

8. Don't react, keep cool and stay calm.

9. Inhale and exhale. Count to 10.

10. Plaster a smile on your face and all will be ok because God's on my side.

Emotional Yo-Yo

Something is just not right with me lately. And no, I am not preggers.

Last week, for no particular reason, I felt so low, so down for a couple of days. And on Friday, on my way to work, I realised the gloom lifted and I don't feel the heavy sadness on my chest anymore.

I've been feeling frustrated, sensitive, upset, really sad, naggy (and I hate being naggy and obviously being negative) and the list goes on. Oh ya, and today towards the end of Body Attack, I felt mad and I felt like punching someone. Anyone. Even poor Brandon, the instructor for choreographing a routine that hurts my arch and makes my heart beat so fast it threatens to burst out of my chest.

Maybe my emotional yo-yo-ness is because of the several incidences that have occurred simultaneously around that special time of my month in the past month. Maybe it's because of lack of exercise as I've been skipping gym off and on for the past 6 months. Or maybe, just maybe it's all the chocolates that I unhealthily input because I succumb to my cravings.

All I know is I am not on any medication, never been on contraceptive pills whatsoever and am pretty much sure I am not with child.

So, why all this emotional roller coaster?

The frustrated me

It is frustrating:

#1 - When things have legs and move themselves from where I placed them

#2 - I can't do certain things in the order I had planned to do so

#3 - When I feel pressured to make decisions because of #2

#4 - I want to do things at my pace, my way

#5 - That I feel frustrated especially knowing it was all done with good intentions

#6 - When my head and my heart won't sync

#7 - Because it affects my other relationships

#8 - When people do not choose to communicate

#9 - That people can be selfish and SO inward thinking

#10 - When I miss my family and friends but am so far from them

20 Random Thoughts in October 2014

1. Appliances hunting isn't fun.

2. Sometimes, being limited by one's resources limits one's ability to do great things.

3. Disappointed at Painter #1 but perhaps, it had to happened the way it did so that Painter #2 could come in the picture and do the job for a price we could afford.

4. I have sooooo many brilliant ideas but am limited by myself and the hole in my pocket.

5. I am blessed with lovely in laws whose generosity touched me at a time where certain relatives were being too pushy with their opinions (I acknowledge and know they have the best of intentions but the way they convey their opinions hardly reflects so) about certain decisions Mr. C and I have made about our humble abode.

6. Finally made it to Lifegroup. Mr. C was trying to wrangle his way out the whole day in such an endearing manner that I couldn't be mad. 

7. I think he secretly enjoyed himself. 

8. Too many drafts waiting to be completed and published reminds me that I need to blog more often. And just as I finished typing that, I know my blogging days will never be as frequent as it used to be.

9. Continuing from Point 8, which in a way is a good thing. I blog more when I am emotional. It's my outlet to rant and release my frustrations and dwell on my Eeyoreness. However, I have grown a fair bit in the past 5 years and I think it is safe to say that I am at a relatively happy place. It's not always rosey and sunshine but I learn to lay my worries at God's capable shoulders and trust that He will see me through the storms.

10. And these days, Mr. C and I rarely argue. Don't get me wrong, we are still very much into each other as when we first started out 14 years ago. But the feelings we have has matured into a comfortable relationship filled with affection and understanding of one another (IMO, this is going to sound conceited but I truly believe it's because I had a paradigm shift and was the bigger person to change my expectations among other things first which is probably a story for another day if I remember to tell it).

11. Had a good time out with Miss H over dumplings last night followed by a visit to the cinemas to watch 'This Is Where I Leave You'. The story unfold of each sibling's struggles are very real in the world today where people struggle to conceive, forget the reasons they married in the first place, do despicable things they never thought they would and so on. 

12. Happy for Colleague JW officially saying his 'I dos' to EJ today although Mr. C and I couldn't be there to witness the happy occasion at Old Treasury Building.

13. Should lose 10kg (I know, I have been saying this like forever) but wondering how to do so since I can't (and am unwilling) to swear off all glorious chocolates, chips and ice-cream.

14. Wishes I had more $$$ so I can fulfill friends/families birthday wishes.

15. A bit down I can't ride a hot air balloon to celebrate my 30th as planned (just because I am unwilling to pay full price of $380+ and am waiting for Groupon/Scoopon specials at half price) but am going SkyDiving instead.

16. Initially wanted to start my 30's with a remarkable celebration to commemorate the importance but due to certain situation, I am willing to forgo and just have a nice meal with Mr. C and in laws.

17. So much I want to do, so little time to pursue every single one of them. However, am glad I managed to strike off a couple from my sort of bucket list.

18. Really wish to go to France and/or Greece (and also Taiwan) next year but am wondering if it will eventuate.

19. Not exactly looking forward but reckon next year's the year to start Mr. C junior project. Sounds a bit selfish perhaps but we've been happy with just the two of us despite tying the knot end 2010. It's hard considering when we don't have our parents here in Kangarooland nor do I have my close girl friends. :( And don't forget, the world isn't exactly becoming a better place to bring a child into.

20. November is going to be awesome. I can feel it. I'll be 30 though people keep thinking I am starting out as a student (not sure if this is good for my work reputation) and are surprised when they hear my age, we are moving for the last time (unless we hit the lottery and move somewhere bigger) and well, just because it's my birthday. Lol. And even if November remains normal and not extraordinary, it's ok. Life goes on and I just have nothing major to gripe about. :)

On my mind

1. Public or Private

2. Blue or Green

3. Fridge, washing machine, dryer, lawn mower, couch, Eames dining table and chairs ?????

4. Ikea or Malaysia?

5. Obtain quotes to rid the jungle that has a life of its own

6. To organise cleaners

7. Update location of humble abode

8. Hmmmm.. what do I want to do for my birthday

8. What else do I have to pack?

9. I SO want a dog but I just want to play and not do anything else. Golden retrievers are SO adorable despite their fur that flies everywhere.

10. Will bathing and washing my hair during confinement period really affect me in my old age?

11. How to make more money?

12. What if everything doesn't turn out the way I imagine it in my head???

13. Breath, Esther, breathe.

14. Can't wait for everything to be finalised by early December 2014.

15. Looking forward to February 2015 but not looking forward to the work leading up to leaving.

16. 2015 is going to be a year of weddings. What if I get preggers???

17. How to convince a certain someone to let me go for a certain someone's wedding?

18. How to keep flying back for all the weddings happening in 2015 and bound to happen in 2016???

19. Why am I so tubby?? Why isn't there a quick fix?? Lol

20. What else is on my mind??

Laksa King at Flemington

Any time we are on the way to the airport or back, or even near city, Mr. C and I will make our way to Laksa King in Flemington. Blogged about this place we went to on our first visit in 2011.

After walking through the Cake Bake & Sweets Show at Melbourne Convention & Exhibition Centre and walks along South Bank, we headed to Laksa King for some heavenly Malaysian food.

Definitely not disappointed. The staff at Laksa King were friendly and efficient as usual. This place is one eatery I've always seen at least half full! The staff is quite good at seating patrons and rearranging the table seating to suit customers waiting to be seated. 

As Mr. C and I don't come as often to Laksa King as we like due to the distance, we always tend to order the same dishes we enjoy - Curry Laksa and Loh Mee which was our usual today. 

Funny thing is, I don't usually have either dishes back in Malaysia but I don't mind the ones in Laksa King. 

Our temporary housemate, Mr. Charlie decided to give the Har Mee (Prawn Mee) a go and gave it a thumbs up.

The thing about the Curry Laksa would be, if you are the kind of person who doesn't fancy too milky or creamy laksa, then this dish isn't for you. Be forewarned!

All in all, another pleasant experience. Extra happiness is getting 10% off your total bill because we ate and paid before 6.30pm - a special they have daily if I am not mistaken.

I shall let the pictures speak for themselves. :)

Mr. C's Curry Laksa

Mr. Charlie's Har Mee

Yours truly's Loh Mee

Selective hearing

It's amazing how we only hear what we want to hear. I mentioned to H the other day that Dami Im had a new song titled ' Silhoutte' and was surprised that she hasn't heard it as it has been playing on her radio in office every day.

One day, on the way home from work, the song was playing on the radio and I mentioned to Mr. C about my conversation with H. Mr. C politely corrected me that the song is called 'Gladiator'.

True enough, I mentioned it H the next day at work and that song, she's heard before. I thought the song was titled 'Silhoutte' because I vaguely recollect the word being sung a couple of times maybe during the chorus.

The funny part, I googled the lyrics and in the whole song, 'Silhoutte' is only sung twice.

#malubetul #iamsuchadoofus

Conversations with colleagues : Raspberry tart and vermicelli

Following from yesterday's lesson on Cockney Rhyming Slang...

A group of us drove to a nearby jaunt for Vietnamese lunch.
In the car on the way back to work, I decided to practice my new found rhyming skills.

Me : Let's hope no one does a raspberry tart!

After some laughter as the two at the front seat were Aussies and obviously knew what I meant, Colleague K asked what I had for lunch. She is not very well versed in Asian food, hence, the question. I briefly explained mine was stir fried flat rice noodles (in Malaysia, we call it hor fun) and Mr. C had egg noodles in soup.

Had to think for awhile how to explain that egg rice noodles is the Asian version of angel hair... similar to vermicelli.

To which Colleague FV said, "Do you know what vermicelli means translating from Italian?"

I thought real hard for awhile and took a wild guess "WORMS" !!

Colleague FV : You are right!

Conversations with colleagues : Cockney Rhyming Slang

After the main office crowd had their lunch and left the lunchroom, in walked Colleague JT and he asked if anyone was using the microwave oven.

Colleague FV said "Nope. Go ahead and heat up your dog's eye and dead horse."

I was making a drink when I heard that and was like huh?? Trying to understand, I asked what did dog's eye and dead horse referred to.

Colleague FV explained that it was cockney rhyming slang - dog's eye rhymed with pie and dead horse rhymes with sauce.

I went oooooh..... thinking maybe it was some variation of Aussie slang. I went back to my desk and told Colleague HM the conversation in the lunchroom and she explained a bit on cockney rhyming slang or rather, she Googled the explaination and examples for me.

Here are a few to educate you... taken from this site.

Dog's eye - Pie (Would you like to have a dog's eye?)
Dead horse - Sauce (Dead horse would go well with the dog's eye)
Steak and kidney - Sydney (I am taking a flight to steak and kidney next week)
Brave and bold - Cold (It was really brave and bold yesterday)
Captain Cook - Look (Have a captain cook at this dress)
Dalai Lamas - Dramas (Please no dalai lamas about your day)
Dog and bone - Phone (Can you please answer the dog and bone that is ringing off the hook?)
Grim and Gory - Story (Uncle Dan has a flair at telling an entertaining grim and gory)
Optic Nerve - Perve as in Pervert (Stop being such an optic nerve)
Nails and screws - News (Did you read the nails and screws about the scandal of the century?)
Bugs Bunny - Money (Can you spare me some bugs bunny as I left my purse at home?)

Raspberry tart is my favourite... it means fart! LOL.

For more examples on classic cockney rhyming slangs to the  modern ones, head on HERE.

RIP Dear Aunt Sharon

Today is a sad day and yet sort of a happy day.

Mr. C and I grieve the lost of a gentle and giving lady. Coming to Melbourne, we have had the privilege to be better acquainted with Aunty Sharon (my paternal grandaunt). We would catch up every once in awhile over Yum Cha (known as Dim Sum in Malaysia). 

When I first read the news of Aunty Sharon's passing last Thursday via a text message, I didn't know that it would affect me this much. My mind would wander at work, at home or wherever and tears would threatened. I would tense and hold it in and wait for the teary moment to pass.

Despite this melancholy, we are happy she is at a better place - free from the pain and suffering caused by cancer. And this is what I find comforting in being a Christian. Knowing that she is no longer suffering and is in Heaven with Uncle James and Jesus consoles the grieving heart. 

And one day, we will meet again.

Mr. C and I took leave from work, picked up two grandaunts and headed to Springvale Botanical Gardens for the funeral service in the morning. It was simple, short and to the point. The cemetery grounds were beautiful and felt more like a garden, living up to its namesake.

After lunch, we celebrated the life of Aunty Sharon at Edge Church in Doncaster East. From her children's eulogy, it confirms Aunty Sharon's gentle nature and unwillingness to be a burden. I gather it must be hard for them to not have detected the cancer earlier, them being doctors and all. Many just assumed she was tired from all the excitement and boisterous energy of her grandchildren.

The Happy Wok again!

This is the fourth week in a row we've been going to The Happy Wok. By now, we more or less know what are our favourite dishes or rather what we deemed The Happy Wok's yummy dishes!

You can read about our first visit HERE.

Second visit - 3rd July 2014  

We had Chai Tow Kuey (white style), Beef Hor Fun and Cheng Tng. 

We really like the fried wok flavoured Char Tow Kuey both the white style and black one. What's the difference? Well, the black one has dark caramel thick sauce making it sweeter. If you get the white style, you can opt to have more tau geh (hokkien for beansprout) for AUD2 extra. It's a bit pricey but that's the price you pay for eating out.

The four times we had this, the four times it was good and yummy!

As for the Beef Hor Fun (Cantonese for flat rice noodles), a customer recommended it the first time we were there. Hence, this second trip, we decided to give it a try. Mr. C liked it but I wasn't a big fan. I felt the beef had an odd taste to it but I liked the taste of the gravy.

For dessert, we decided to try the Cheng Tng (Hokkien translated as cooling soup). It reminds me of Malaysia's Leng Chi Kang but definitely tastes way different. As we've never had Cheng Tng before, we had nothing to compare it with but the sole experience of the taste. It tasted fresh and cooling but strange, maybe the atapchi aka pine-seed was too overpowering not exactly to my liking. Mr. C liked it well enough to finish it.

Third visit - 11th July 2014

This visit, Mr. C just had to order his Char Tow Kuey (white style). As usual, it was tasty, yummy and satisfying although portion is a bit petite for Aussie portion. 

I decided to be adventurous and try the Singapore Mee Hoon. It was alright but not what I expected. I thought Singapore Mee Hoon is a bit like Mee Siam- orangey in colour, slightly tangy sour and definitely on the drier side. 

Everytime after meal, it's always a challenge to sway Mr. C to allow room for dessert. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. This time, I managed to persuade Mr. C to order dessert and we had the Sago Malacca for a change. It was nice but would have been better slightly less sweet.

Fourth visit - 17th July 2014

No surprises that Mr. C opt to order Char Tow Kuey again but this time in black style. Love, love, love the dark caramel sweet flavour balanced against savoury. Couldn't stop myself from pinching a few pieces off Mr. C's plate.

For entree, we ordered Chwee Kueh. I've tried this when I was in Singapore in September 2011. I remember it being oily but definitely tasty in a good way. I liked the simple presentation of the ones at The Happy Wok. It didn't taste bad but it also did not endear itself to me. I would have liked a bit more liao (Hokkien for filling) on the top.

Somehow, it always seem that I am the scapegoat to have to try the other offerings on the menu. This trip, I gave the Char Koay Teow (CKT, hokkien for fried flat rice noodles) a go. As Malaysians, we really value our CKT. To be considered a success, it has to have the fried wok taste (Wok Mei in Cantonese) and pork lard (Ju Yao Za in Cantonese). 

This is my first time having a Singapore version. Hence, I am not sure if this is how it is meant to be - a bit on the wet side. Taste wise, I enjoyed it but it felt more like normal stir fried noodles than my Malaysian version CKT.

Lastly, I knight this my favourite dessert of all desserts at The Happy Wok - Black Rice Pudding! The salted thin coconut milk drizzled over the pudding balanced with the sweetness of the black rice. Aaaahhh... perfection.

Ok. So, I know some people will say The Happy Wok serves authentic Singaporean food and there will be haters who will dispute. As I am a Malaysian and not a Singaporean coupled with the fact that I haven't had enough Singaporean food to compare with, I can only give my honest opinion based on the taste of the food.

If you definitely want an enjoyable meal with no disappointments, I would definitely recommend the Char Tow Kuey, Singapore Hokkien Mee and finish the night with Black Rice Pudding for dessert.

As for some negative feedback on Urbanspoon about the service, I have to disagree. All four times that I've been there, the people who waited on us were friendly and welcoming. Just like how I blogged on my first visit. I can understand if they were busy serving many customers at the same time, they would not be as attentive. But I somehow can't imagine them being rude. 

Well, this is just my humble opinion. I would suggest you go with an open mind and just enjoy the food for what it is and form your own opinion.

American BBQ at Third Wave in Prahran

Sometime in June, Greg from Third Wave left a comment in my Hammer & Tong 416  post with an invitation for dinner at Third Wave in their Prahran brunch. 

Firstly, I didn't see the comment till much later. Secondly, to my embarrassment, this wasn't the first attempt to touch base with me. Thirdly, seriously? Inviting me, an unknown, next-door-girl for a complimentary meal? Mr. C and I simply couldn't pass up this wonderful opportunity, seeing how we are always on the hunt for yummeh ribs in Melbourne. Even Greg's description of Third Wave's American BBQ menu made it impossible to say 'No' to!

We found ourselves in Third Wave today after a lovely date out in beautiful, hipster, cultured Melbourne city (which I'll blogged about another day)!

Staff was friendly and attentive. They explained the menu well and gave us time to mull over.

As we read the menu, we felt the pull to try our taste buds on the many dishes listed. However, we didn't want to be greedy over ordering - as you  know how some Asians can be when the word "free" is involved - hence, we decided on half rack of smoked pork ribs, smoked salmon, sauteed mushrooms with coleslaw and the best for last, pecan pie for dessert!

 

Mr. C gave the house wine a go and savoured every sip whilst I had my usual - lemon lime bitters. Refreshing and tangy is just right to offset a night of feasting.

Once we placed our orders, we sat back and soaked in our surroundings. It was fairly early in the evening around 6pm explaining the empty seats. Naturally as the evening wore on, seats were filled. The simple, neutral and light interior gave a brunch cafe feel which is what the shop is in the day time. Browsing through the comments on Urbanspoon, the brunch spread is well received. Definitely interested to sample what they have to offer for brunch - baked eggs are my favourite!

The smoked salmon ($23 for medium) was the first to arrive. Brined for 8 hours in salt, sugar and spice, Greg had mentioned, that the salmon is marinated, dried out and smoked with Apple wood. Mr. C and I delighted in the simplicity of the fish; the perfect texture and the smoky flavour. Although the homemade dill that accompanied the salmon complimented the taste, I preferred the salmon on its own. Yes, it was that good!

The next main we had was the pork ribs ($29 half rack). Ok. This is how serious Third Wave is with their ribs. The pork ribs are smoked with Maple wood for 5-6 hours, and is tender and juicy, falling off the bone as any good ribs should. It comes with two different BBQ sauces - Spicy BBQ and Apple Bourbon. I, for one couldn't decide which I preferred that I had both with my ribs making it absolutely yum!

For sides, we had Glazed Mushrooms ($10 for medium). The fried butter mushrooms were glazed with soy and topped with spring onions and roasted sesame seeds. Every mouthful was just wonderful! The juicy mushroom flavour infused with soy taste just made me crave bite after bite for another mushroom. Loved it so much so that Mr. C had to restrain me from licking the soy off the bowl!

The other side we had was the Crispy Coleslaw ($8 for medium) which Mr. C, a vege lover enjoyed.

And lastly, what better way to end the night than sharing a delectable dessert in the form of Pecan Pie. My first, too! It was served warm, sweet and delicious, as stated in the menu! 

I am not a big nut fan but the yum biscuit base more than made up for the crunchy walnuts especially with the spill of the espresso cream topped with vanilla ice cream!

 

Although I would say my first preference for yummiest ribs to be the ones served at Hurricanes in Sydney, all in all, our experience at Third Wave was pleasant to our memories and tummies. Mr. C and I thoroughly enjoyed the humble tastes offered at Third Wave.

We will be back for more, that's for sure!

Now, wouldn't it be lovely to be invited for their brunch?! ;p  *Hopeful and cheeky me*

Outdoor Patio / Deck Ideas

These are all the ideas I would simply love to incorporate in to my future home. Unfortunately, to make the below come true, it is going to burn a gaping hole in my pocket. Hence, I foresee it will be a work in progress spreading out over 10 years! Lol.

Hmmmm... so, what would be a must have at my outdoor entertainment area??

#1 A deck / patio where I can invite friends and family over for a BBQ session (it's a pretty big thing in Aussie that families do a 'barbie' even on a casual week night dinner).

#2 Nice long table with ample seating to fit the many guests.

#3 A lovely garden that just oozes with peace and tranquility and beautiful plants with colourful flowers (oh yeah, a pear and orange tree, too!).

#4 Definitely a pond teeming with gold fish.

#6 A swing / egg shelled chair for lounging and reading books.

#7 Now that I think about it, I would like to have a round table to enjoy drinking Chinese tea the proper way with some Chinese looking chairs, the antique wooden sort with ivory etchings.

#8 Not forgetting a herb garden filled with basil, coriander, chives, tomatoes which are the main ingredients we usually use.

#9 Quirky Melburnian (yes, that's how you spell the word!) hanging lights.

#10 Fan for hot summer days and good lighting for nights. Blinds to keep out the gusty wind on Korean BBQ and steamboat nights.

Enjoy the endless possibilities. Extracted the pictures just by Google. Reckon they are mainly American  type of houses.