Thursday, September 8, 2011

Wedding planning woes

This trip back to Malaysia wasn't exactly something I looked forward to as I used to on my other trips back. I guess in a way, I've adapted and grown accustomed to my life in Australia. And perhaps, I know that I'll be swamped with wedding matters to settle on top of meeting my friends and spending time with family.

Sometimes, I just wished I could rant freely here with no qualms but I guess I am no longer that pessimistic, innocent, naive girl. I, somehow can't let myself rant in the heat of the moment thinking that it will surely come back to bite me. If not now, someday.

Yeah sure. Blogging about the many matters plaguing my mind will definitely help relieve part of the pressure if not, be entertaining and relatable. But ranting and airing my dirty laundry won't solve the issues faced.

But just so that this is my form of online diary as I can't be bothered to traumatise my hardcopy journal with my chicken scrawls that you'd call handwriting, I shall rant here in a manner that is as objective as I can and in a summarised version about wedding related matters.

Wedding dress
If you've been following my blog, you will know that I bought a dress from ebay and another two from a wholesaler called DinoDirect. I really like the ebay one as it is cutesie and yet beautiful. Even the few friends who had a glimpse of the pictures thought that it suits me... that's if the actual dress turns out exactly as the picture.

Since I won't be wearing this anymore, I can't ruin a surprise I am not wearing...

The initial dress I wanted to wear for my special day.

The ebay dress was supposed to be the main dress of the day and the other two from DinoDirect was supposed to serve as back up, if not used for pre-wedding photoshoots. Amidst a lot of nonsense and mild depression, getting a blue dress instead of a white dress with blue sash was a shocker!

You tell me if the dress in blue looks even remotely like the one in the picture above??!

As it turns out, the ebay dress doesn't look like the picture at all seeing how the WHOLE dress was in blue instead of white! I guess, message was lost in translation when the seller 'translated' my message into Mandarin. At this point of time, I am thinking if I should ask for a full refund or return the current one and get a new one in white WITH a blue sash.

The one shouldered dress from DinoDirect didn't turned up as nice as the picture, hence, I am not using that and will sell it off as soon as I get back to Melbourne. The other one with the sweetheart neckline was sent for altering when I came back and the cream, beige looking sash was changed for a blue one. As of now, it seems that I shall be using this as the main dress for the day unless I opt to change the blue ebay dress for a white one and it turns out nicer than this one.

Wedding cards
Currently waiting for the card people to get back to me with Draft 2 after factoring in my minor amendments. I really hope to finalise it by tomorrow so that we can proceed with printing and get the cards out before I leave.

As much as I would like a grand wedding with beautiful cards, dresses and what not, I am a practical bride with a super tight budget. I do try to make myself happy and adjust my expectations as I go about the wedding planning but sometimes, not being able to just spend and get what I want with minimal effort takes a toll.

It is a good thing my brother was gamed and offered to proof read with me the wording to the cards last night. I must also acknowledged Mel for letting me include her with the RSVP part seeing how she has to handle with my mum and her list or lack of.

Wedding venue and food
Venue is booked but confirming the tables is a mild headache for now which will definitely lead to a migrane in the foreseeable future. I've booked 35 tables, invited 400 people (or approximately) and waiting for confirmation. If 30% of invited people say no, then it leaves me with 280 potential confirmed attendees thereby leaving me with extra 7 tables to fill up.

This can prove to be a nightmare especially knowing how Malaysians are prone to RSVP-ing at the very last minute. Either that or they'll say 'yes' then change their mind at the 11th hour and say 'no'.

And this is fine if my side can settle the guest list like how Mr. C's parents settle theirs. But nope. Instead of my parents visiting my relatives to hand out the cards and personally invite them, the 'privilege' might fall upon me. Then again, it depends how much time and effort I can muster.

Another headache is that I won't be having a dinner, instead it'll be a luncheon. As I decided the date late, it's hard to find a venue in December on a Saturday night. Apparently, December is a hot month for marriages to take place and what more to say Saturday evening.

Seeing how that I am somewhat on a budget, people might think luncheon cost less than dinner which is untrue as the cost is still the same. Besides that, although I booked my venue early this year, they've had a change of menu (which is the case every year) and with that, prices has gone up! I can't even take the cheapest menu 'cos my day falls on the weekend! Drat and double drat!

Wedding favours
I've looked into this and it costs a fair bit leading me to reconsider if I should just leave things as it is. The wedding favour offered by my venue does not meet my expectations. Basically, no offense meant but they're offering a cheapskate version of Ferraro Rochere.

Naturally, I want something better for my guests. Initially, I was hoping my aunt in Penang can bake her awesome chocolate chip cookies or some nice kuih or cake but she can't make it for the wedding as she'll be overseas. So, change of plans. Not asking my mum to do the cake 'cos knowing her, she'll leave things to the last minute and drive me insane.

I've seen a fair bit of wedding favours that I would love to give my guests but #1 it's either way past my budget or #2 if it's affordable, it doesn't seem that nice nor practical. I've considered nice chocolates like Hersheys or getting someone to bake a cake (question is who?) or doing cupcakes (which costs a bomb and not everyone likes such sweet stuff) or candles or glass coasters.

Man. It's time to make a decision on this soon. ASAP!

If you were a guest at a wedding, what kind of gift would you use and like?

Photobooth, flowers and car
The cost to make a photobooth isn't cheap so am wondering if I should go ahead and commission one or just forsake the idea seeing how people would only use it for a short while.

Flowers is still a matter not yet researched in depth which reminds me that I really have to go visit a few florist tomorrow to see what kind of flowers they offer and the price tag that comes with it.

Some bouquets I have in mind...

Due to budget constraints, I shall only be getting a bridal bouquet and perhaps, decorations for the bridal car (if it's at an affordable price). As for the Ji Muis, Heng Dais and immediate family, am thinking of doing my own personalised 'corsages' and stuff to pin on lapels instead of getting flowers.

As for the car, I am not planning to rent one as how most people do. A friend says he can either loan me his dad's M5 (if it hasn't been sold yet by then) or am trying to convince him to lend me his red Volkwagon Golf GTI. Worst case scenario, I'll just use my Edward.

One man show
With all this planning and coordinating, everything falls on me. From the make up and hair to the dresses and suits right down to the venue, cards and what not, I have had to do my 'research' from Melbourne, liaise with the vendors and confirming matters, making decisions all on my own.

Of course, some of my friends have offered but it is hard to ask them for help to go looking for flowers, dresses and all when they're in Malaysia and I am in Australia. Not forgetting that they, too have lives to live and their own shit in life to deal with.

It's not too bad but I don't think it's much fun to be doing it all alone. After all, it isn't just my wedding, it's also Mr. C's but often times, I really do wonder if it's just mine seeing how that I am the only one doing everything and making all the decisions.

If that isn't bad enough. Some people heaps me with additional headaches. If you don't want to help, it's ok. But don't go giving me more headache and stress.

Asking me not to have the wedding, to keep it simple and amongst immediate family. Asking me to go find and search for the kebaya and what not 'cos supposedly it is my heritage and yada yada. Asking me to do or not do this and that. It's adding up and it's really taking a lot out of me and I am trying my best not to blow.

And it doesn't help when I have to deal with shit from other parties on other matters.

Sometimes, I really wonder how I survive through everything. In the past week, I've really felt like letting it all go and say, screw it, I am cancelling the whole shebang since no one appreciates the effort, time and money being pumped into this.

When people are not giving me grief and I can actually surface for air, I know at the end of the day all will be ok. I will survive this just like I survive everything else but sometimes, it'll be nice if someone really takes care of me for a change.


ken said...

i always think that weddings are complicated process, but when you drilled into the details it seems even more.. uh.. not-so-easy.

I'm already in my twenties, sooner or later, maybe 4 or 5 years down the road, i'll be going thru all these as well..

right now, i honestly dont wish to get married.. haha.. couldn't bear thinking of settling down, building a family, getting kids and whatnot.. :)

anyway, i wish you all the best in your preparation.. have a joyful and dreamy wedding!

Kathlynn said...

omgosh! you need a great big hugz! honestly, i was all there once. i can offer some advise if you like (not that I had the perfect wedding n all la!)

dresses cant help you decide much, coz i went for the all-in-one route i.e. bridal shop.

as for wedding cards, wat i did was stick to the std trad chinese wedding card (those offered FOC by the restaurant) but for my church card, i slip a lil card inside & custom made to my own liking. i share with you via email if you hav not done yours)

as for wedding venue - i believe that you are choosing one of the Oriental restaurant chain? Well, if yes, then may i suggest that if you are on a budget, just buy some nice 'heart shaped' Beryl chocs (in your wedding theme colour for wrapper)& ask them to replace the cheapo choc. Honestly, cupcake will be too messy & not really all your guest will appreciate exp wedding favours, so perhaps you may want to keep this in tot n allocate more budget to elsewhere. as for the bookings of tables, invite more, as i believe you have a min 35 table to book the whole restaurant no? Explain in more detail if my guess of which restaurant you book is correct.

photobooth, i had something similar with that, and in a way it worked, and in a way it didnt. suggest if you still want something like that, just stick to simple tools like funky glasses, feather boa, chalkboard, etc. Can do away we elaborate (albeit expensive details).

Flowers - i got mine from a wholesaler in KL. Reliable & cheap & very good wedding flower consultant, couldn't ask for more. Simple flower corsages are cheap, you may want to consider getting those instead of DIY, but I had mine only for immediate family & bridal party. As for church wedding flowers, just use minimal flowers to compliment the Christmas deco (which should be up by then?) do check with the church to make sure that colours dont clash & stuff (depending on the Christmas theme this year).

If you want something for ji muis, you can get those nice accesories (think DIVA Aus - i think its relatively cheap there no?). For heng tai, I just got them a same color ties. Kau tim! :)

Car, just get one of your friends or relative, no need to spend so much la. Oh, decor you can get the florist to recomend oso.

Dealing with shit it part & parcel of getting married, and somethings its just too unbearable & you jus go thru breakdown or breakdownS in my case. but in all honesty, when you look back, its all funny & you can laugh at all the things that went wrong (or right) in the next few days after. My hus & I did, and its these memories that we cherish most! :)

let me knw if i can further help! :)

goingkookies said...

ken : lol usually it's the bride who has to go through the hassle and every now and then, the grooms do chip in.. well, the more 'hardworking' and loving ones do.. mine? makes me want to kosh him over the head at times. hehe

kathlynn: wow! just read ur msg and it's sooo much info! thanks!! will try to hunt for ur email n email u one of these days ya!! thanks for the tips!!

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Atouch of silver said...

Fresh bouquet can really make the bride and entourage beautiful.

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