Friday, April 17, 2009

Disappointments and crap

The week has passed me by so fast. It's already Friday! and what have i done to account for the week? Nothing. I haven't even completed a module and neither have i done my driving license, paid my saman, did anything with my hair, shopping, clean my room or even packed my goody bag to send to my bf!

I really did try to push myself to study but somehow, it's like there's a block. I sit and read a few lines and the words just become blurry and i have to re read the whole para or even the whole page again. Part of me is saying, screw it and yet the other half is saying i better get this done once and for all. On top of that, there's this niggling thought in my other parts of my brain thinking of after this study break. No one understands. Only my petbro gave me the answer that i need to hear or rather want to hear.

I don't have a solution. The easy way out is obvious but somehow my filial sense seems to be winning the fight for now. I thought you would understand what i m feeling and what i m going through but the words that you say just shows that you don't and i guess that hurts even more. Everyone's been really rallying for you and trying not to pressure you but do you even see it? Or do you just withdraw to your little cocoon? She asked you to just help her transfer stuff and you make such a bloody small thing sound so difficult to do. You're the one who recommended the Mac to begin with.

and on to other things, my mum kept forgetting to lock my car door after using it. Yesterday, some jerk rummage through the things in my car and took my coin pouch! i mean, at least it's not much but somehow i feel a bit insecure. It happened right outside my house while i was home and was oblivious to it! How do i not know if he is still lurking around?

What is wrong with all this stupid brainless scumbags? They prey on you, eye your stuff and take things that don't belong to them! and seriously once again, what is our pathetic excuse of a government doing? What is the policemen doing? Seriously, enough with all the childish, juvenile behaviors squabbling for control all the time! Utusan can publish the things they did without being arrested under ISA or for causing racial disharmony when the message posted on their news practically screams just that!!

alright. enough about politics and stupid brainless nitwits. It's back to pushing me to study. Sigh. I am actually not keen to go out tonight as i haven't been studying much and all but thinking for the sake of friendship, I said ok.

Wanted to ask you out for pasar malam ytd like the good ol days but never did. Perhaps i don't want to face being rejected. Oh well, all i know is i need some rescuing. Monday, i was happy. Maybe it was the first day of study break. or maybe it was just doing sth out of the ordinary. then again, maybe it was just the company.

This is not even the hungry ghost month and i m feeling oppresed already!

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