Friday, April 24, 2009

Money is the root of all evil

I have rewarded myself today when i didn't even deserve it!
I was supposed to go through the case study
and also the pre-seen information
(case study which part of the exam questions will be based on)
but that i did not.

I reward myself reading novels.
Watching America's Next Top Model Cycle 12.
Cute and Chic Fo, i adore.
Her exotic, sultry look reminds me of Monica Belucci.

Fail to see the "model" quality in Natalie though
and what that the judges keep raving about.
She is pretty, no doubt about that
but seems to have this next-door-girl look.

And in every season,
you'll definitely have at least a person you'll detest.
A person who thinks so highly of herself.
A person who is so blinded by her high handed opinions of herself
that you just want to smack her silly.
For cycle 12, i would have to say that,
that person for me is Sandra who was finally booted in episode 6!

ok. it sounds mean
but she keeps going on and on
about how pretty she is
and how good she is
and what great photos she takes
when i don't see it at all!

ok. Enough about ANTM.

I was just thinking that
if i didn't have to contribute
a huge chunk of my salary every month,
i could so easily afford
a PS2, a camera and a hp
with just one month's salary
and have extra leftovers for monthly expenses!
But i guess not.

And this leads me to think,
why am i working so blardy hard for??!!
I mean, at the end of the day,
i don't feel as if i m benefitting from my "hardwork".
I do sth i hate so much
and i dun get to enjoy and reap the results of the effort!
Instead, i mope around,
always having to count
how much i have spent
and how much i have left
to spend and the things i want to get
but can't seem to get!

Does anyone ever say, "why don't you just take this one month pay and get sth you want for yourself??".
Well, wondering if ever that day will ever come.

And i think of all the colleagues/friends i know
who HARDLY contributes
or even give ANY portion of their pay to their parents!
The part is, sometimes,
their parents have their own money
and hence, don't need their childrens money.
But it's like so freaking unfair.

Their parents can afford to buy them
a car, a nice house, an education abroad
and even now when they're working
they get to keep all their money for themselves
to splurge or whatever not.

Where ppl like me
who don't come from a well off family
constantly feels like nothing ever comes easy.
And i may not be super poor and all
but i didn't get
a free house, a free car, a chance to study abroad
and now, instead of being able to pamper myself,
i have to give back to help out with family expenditure.

I am not complaining.
not complaining about having to give money back to my family.
but i am SO complaining about the part,
the part where i don't get to do what i want with my money.
I don't ever seem to get to pursue what i want. What i feel.
And i m going to be quarter of the century this year.
And i want more out of my life as it is right now.
I want so much more.

It's not fair that i have to slog waiting for you guys to rise up.
When will that ever be??!!
Are you guys being fair to me?
I am not the smartests, the brightest nor the fairest.
You guys are.

When will you find it in your heart to give me my chance at life?
I took accounting out of necessity.
I did audit out of necessity.
You guys got a chance at what you wanted to pursue.
When will you at least show me
the understanding i seek
and the guidance that i need?

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