Last night, I went to bed with tears sliding off the side of my eyes seeping into the pillow. This morning, to Mr. C's horror, I started tearing at the breakfast table. He asked what the matter was wrong with me. I think it's the pressure of finding a job. Any job. The right job. The job that will pay well and most importantly, I'll enjoy and excel in.
No easy feat, I tell you. Just reading job descriptions put me off job search. Oh well. That's the fun part of being an adult right? RESPONSIBILITIES and what not. I have to think of my future children and also my parents when they get older. It's going to cost a fair bit of money.
If not for money, I wouldn't be going back to work. If I had money, there's so much I want to do with it. Start a home for the elderly and the young... a cafe or an eatery with a stage for live performances; poem reading, monologue, basically for budding artistes to showcase their talent or just a platform to voice their thoughts. The list goes on. I am sure many of you have said dreams and plans to open your own business but currently hampered by the lack of capital.
Reality checks in, and boy does it suck big time!
Anyhow, Sal called and I chatted with Mun2, too. Felt better after. Perhaps, it'll get better from here on. Thanks God. I went to bed in tears and a prayer to God asking Him to help me make sense of sad me and to help me turn a sad day into a good day. And He helped.
Last week, was at EB Games and saw the above and the below. Let's just say, boys will always be boys. Even when they grow facial and body hairs, don on a suit and a tie to work, they'll always be a boy at heart, somehow.
And I think guys got it right somehow. Keep their life simple and they are pretty much easily contented and happy. I think, it's usually the missus that complicates their life. LOLs. Our landlord told Mr. C to make sure that I was okay with the house when we first moved in last year. He said that if I, the lady of the house was happy, then there will be no problem for the man. And it really is true.
Can't wait to go to Knox Shopping Centre later to trade in my Dance Central for The Black Eyed Peas Experience! Hopefully, I can still get it at the cheaper price. Otherwise, I'll have to forgo getting it today. ;(
Note : I think it is awesome how I can transfer songs from my Dance Central to Dance Central 2! And hence, allowing me to trade it in for The Black Eyed Peas Experience!
See, this is why I need to get a job. To be able to enjoy little pleasures in life such as this and my sweeties and chocolates, my sticky date puddings and oooh... accesories, clothes, bags, shoes and presents for people!!!
Poor Mr. C. Every time we go out, I see things I would LOVE to buy for people; friends and family. He'd rather I buy things for myself to make myself happy then always splurging on others especially if others might not always appreciate such gestures.
My sister says I need to love myself but I don't know how to. And to go back to the root of the question,"why don't I love myself?". I am not ugly and I admit, I am not stupid. But neither am I pretty hot nor super smart. Wonder if others go through such battles with self. I guess everyone does but a different kind from mine.
So, 2012... a journey of self discovery. Now, how to go about doing that?