Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Timothy Tiah and Xiaxue - my idols??

People always tell those that are down and pessimistic to cheer up. To be happy. To not think so much. Either that or they feel that they should just stay away from people who are negative and pessimistic. In a way, it is an act of self preservation. After all, the people you hang out with and surround yourself with ARE usually the ones that influence you. Your very actions and thoughts and behaviour. However, everyone has their ups and downs in life. Some gets up faster than others. Some never do get up. Ever.

We all have secrets. Dark, deep, debased secrets or just little secrets that aren't really that much earth shattering possibly such as... I love to dig my nose (I don't but just using it as an example) or I love the fume smell of petrol or I hate so and so but I act as if all is well. There's even a blog called postsecret where people mails in their "secrets" on one side of the postcards.

I, too have my own secrets. I think my boyfriend is right. I do need help. However, to get help is yet another thing. I guess, it's back to old school methods... try a little dose of optimism everyday. This is one thing that I''ve been struggling with like forever! and some people who reads this might feel that I should be slapped or I should just wake up and stop dwelling on such negativity. Easier said that done.

Think about it. Do you think I like this feeling? This constant "life sucks" feeling. How hard it is to wake up everyday. To be constantly having headaches and tummy aches. Don't say I never tried. Don't say I deserve this because no matter what, nobody does. Even those that don't help themselves. Sometimes in life, some are smarter and stronger than others. Some, more talented than others. Some funnier and wittier or prettier and wiser or even richer and better off than others. So, don't judge and don't patronise a person who is down. A person who wears their feelings on their sleeves even if their pessimism rubs you the wrong way. Don't judge if you're one of the smarter, talented, funnier, wittier, prettier, wiser or richer person.

So, enough of all that. Moving on, I am going to try to do something about this. I know. I know. I've said this like a billion times but I say it with the noblest, sincerest intentions. I have to do something before I self destruct. Who knows what is being said about me at my workplace. Maybe I do deserve it. Life goes on. There is so much more out there. The question is, when do i take the leapt And am I ready to face the consequences? Am I ready to take a risk for once in my life instead of following convention and letting it dictate my life?

I should look to people like Timothy Tiah, he took a risk. He's my age and look where he is. Definitely pessimism didn't get him there! Look at Xiaxue. People thinks that she's bimbotic or moronic or attention seeking or slutty or whatever but look at her. She's not working a job she feels is worthless. She blogs and earns from it and gets the luxury to do it from home! She even gets freebies for events or holidays etc.

So, as my mum says, this is a year to move on. A time for change even if it may not be for the better but at least it should deviate from what it is now. It's already June. Half the year has literally flown by. I am not that old yet but neither am I that young. Life's too short for regrets and definitely too short to be dwelling on sad stuff and wasting energies on mindlessness.

Serenity prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

if you can relate to what my post was about or if you just feel for me.. =)

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