Ok. After several days of hiatus, I am back. Man. I used to have so much energy, so much to blog about but these days, the harder I try to blog something more interesting, more exciting, I come up with zilch. Nothing.
Day 6 – Your day
It's a Sunday and I feel pretty much alone that I can almost hear my thoughts out loud. Well, almost. Let's see, woke up, had breakfast with Mr. C and tidied up the room as he left for work. Lounge about the house and met him for his break. Had salad and some pumpkin risotto, the food isn't as good as when I first tried it. Things are not going too well for Villa and Hut, affecting many of it's staff or what's left of their staff.
After meeting Mr. C, I headed to the library to return 5 books leaving me with 10 more at home to read. Since I can't afford to go shopping -though there are lots of clothes, shoes, goodies to buy- I go book hunting in the library and so far, I have had lots to borrow and despite 10 books awaiting me at home, I borrowed 2 more.
And here I am, blogging about my mundane Sunday. If I was in Malaysia, I would be home chilling with my family or out with my friends having our girly chats- something I am really missing right now. It's pointless to NOT having a curfew but at the same having NO one to go out with.
Guess my only highlight would be swimming. Yup, dragging poor Mr. C later to the pool after his work.
Day 7 – Your best friend
Now, this is an age old question that there's no real answer to it. You see, every year in school, I seem to have a 'best friend' for that year only and as I change classes, that so-called good or best friend changes too.
I remember in primary school, Std 1-3, I had this supposedly good girl friend but things didn't end well. If my memory is up to scratch, it had something to do with her being jealous of me though I wonder what was there ever to be jealous about. In Std 4, I dropped from first to second best class and made another friend who is super sweet. However, I didn't fare so well in my grades and dropped to a lousy class in Std 5.
Although being in a not-so-smart class wasn't cool but it was definitely the best class of my primary school life. I played hard- got smacked by the teacher, made to stand on my chair and all thanks to the idiot guy I had to sit with who was always trying to get me into trouble- and still scored for English and Mathematics. That year, I had to represent my class to sing and for an English speaking competition and how I performed miserably as speaking and singing in front of a crowd isn't exactly what you would call my forte. But what memories it leaves me. It is the only year truly impeded in my memory.
And because I was first in class, I was selected to go back to the best class in Std 6 and that is when my true nightmare begin. I dreaded going to school, crying almost every night as I try to memorise and read up all the work given. I was struggling mad and that's probably what traumatised me to NOT speak mandarin for the rest of my high school and uni years.
In Form 1, my bestie was Ngee and then in Form 2, it was Mel. Move along to Form 3, I guess you would say it was Ping and Form 4 and 5, it was May. I wouldn't really count them as super besties but more along the line of good friends. If you count besties being the one I told the most stuff to, I would say my childhood friend, Kev was the one. However, I don't think he felt the same as he was pretty close knit with his school mates.
And as Mr. C and I became more acquainted, not only did he became my boyfriend, he was also my best friend. And as uni years passed, it was from Yan to Yiing to Kris to Gill and I got closer again to Ngee and Wen and Mel.
I wouldn't say that I have only one best friend but it's more like many good friends. I do envy those who actually have one bestie whom they've grown up with or whom they share everything with. Someone who's been with you through thick and thin and know you almost inside out.
I would say that I have been pretty much fortunate to have my handful of friends though scattered in different groups. I would say we never experience any backstabbing, jealous of each other kind of nonsense and that's good. I truly hope that our friendship is the kind that can withstand all these nonsense if it ever arises.
I do wish though that I have one close knit of friends instead of one here and there and from different groups. It's really hard to meet up everyone and keep in touch with so many people and it can be pretty lonely upsetting to feel one is always the initiator. Maybe I do better friendship one on one than in a group. Ahhh, perhaps it's a generation curse from my family.
Day 8 – A moment
There was a moment when I really liked him. Another moment when I was so sure that he was The One. A totally different matter and different moment, I remember when life was so low for me that I had no will to live, a moment where I pray and hope everyday that my life would just end- by an accident or disease.
Taken from HERE.
But now, being here, and trying to let the past go, right this moment, I feel like I am in a better place. This moment, despite homesickness for family and friends and a certain asshole, this feels like the best choice made. Many might disagree but you don't have ALL the facts, you don't know what I've been through and what prompted me to do what I did. It is my story to tell but I cannot without permission.
This moment will lead to another moment and hopefully many more better ones.
Day 9 – Your beliefs
I believe that eating TimTams, ice-cream and drinking coffees, teas and bubbleteas will widen my hips but consuming them makes me happy. I believe that blue is the prettiest and awesomest colour ever. I believe that watching romance and comedy definitely cheers my blues aways irregardless how temporary the good feeling lasts.
I believe that I really trusted you and really liked you but I also believe now that I, perhaps didn't mean much to you and perhaps, I was used but the past is the past and it's really time to let go. I believe that you and you and you really love me and mean well but it's time for you all to let go and trust that I will make the best decision for me. I believe that you would go the ends of your world for me even if it's not the ends of my world and it's time to stop doubting and to start believing.
I believe in so many things but ultimately, despite all that has happen and all that is going to happen, I believe that there is an Almighty God who really does things in His way and in His time which sometimes just frustrates the crap out of me. If I only know His plans for me.
Day 10 – What you wore today
I was in my PJ's - white t-shirt from FOS that says 'Don't hate me because you ain't me' and checkered girly longs also from FOS - till 12.45pm. Wanted to dress up to go look for Mr. C but the lasy me figured to just go casual.
Decided on my sheer blue a-little-see-through shirt from Sg. Wang (KL) and black three quarter pants from Treats (1utama, PJ) with my hair tied up in a pony tail and hands accesorised with black bangles. Chose slippers over my Chuckers.