Friday, December 18, 2009

Growing up

You know what I think? It's definitely NOT easy growing up AND it's definitely NOT easy being a parent! And a parent who is able to find the balance of being strict and yet NOT too strict.

For me, I wish I had NO curfew. That I could just go out whenever and where ever. I used to have curfews whereby I had to be home by 12am 'til I started work. I was 22 years old by then. I felt the occasional twinge of ridiculousness on a curfew being imposed especially when I was a working adult, never been away from home for studies, never allowed to stay over at friend's houses that I started fighting for my independence.

I would inform my mother that I was going out and coming back so and so time. She would then reply with a no and I would then say that I was not asking her permission but was just informing her.

It was tough.

This battle. Now that I've been working for the past 3-4 years and having my own wheels to galivant, I come and go as I please. She still does call me or sms me off and on to ask me to go home and to inform me that she's waiting for me. She still gets tick off and tells me off.

Now, my cousins who are living with me for this couple of days are out. Going for yamcha after a movie. They're 21 and 18. Yes, they're big kids now. Scratch that. They're young man and lady. I want them to have some freedom with no curfew and yet at the same time, I have this sense of responsibility whereby I am thinking of their whereabouts and safety. I wished I could just not bother about it but yet, I can't.

My brother says I am ready for motherhood! I think it is the opposite case. God help me when I do actually have to handle my own kids. *Shrudders* Half hoping that the day would never come.

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